For what it's worth..I'll throw in my 2cents...
AC2..definitely good description!
All I really have to add is whenever I think that there is progress something happens that proves me wrong
Ex. I just lost my insurance and given written warning for client termination due to no shows with T/PDoc..Both of these things have happened many xs before...twice this yr alone! But I swear I remember filing out and mailing in forms!..for a long time, I have just chalked it up to Medicaid being the most unorganized mess of an agency....but, this time when I received the letter of policy cancelation...when I thought really hard about it...I can to a startling realization.... That I don't actually have any real specific memories of completing or mailing in the req. Forms!! I remember precisely sitting down to do them..very specific, where, what I was wearing, time and date...but after that the "memories" I thought I was certain of are vague... "Stock footage"..so I started digging into my files...nothing..hmm...tore apart my room...and way way in the back of the closet under messy pile...the forms!..My handwriting first few words..then..it just stops mid word...I literally found five forms all the same..except one..that my writing was crossed out and angry unknown log written F*** You! Across the pg!! So not only is the mind superb at "filling it in the blanks.."..I now know that some part is triggered by Medicaid forms??...And so much that I thought I had together and doing right...Sabatoged! Illusions of any control Shattered..I've spent the last fews days in complete state of shock and defeat... I truly HATE the DUMB DISORDER! ����