Like a lot of therapy relationships I read about, this sounds very ambiguous and convoluted. One of mine was that way.

I found that getting caught up in all the transference/countertransference jargon made things worse. I think these are obfuscating and disempowering concepts. Sometimes what is happening in the room is just what it appears to be. Occam's razor and so on.

I think it's a mistake to assume there is anything healthy about this, just because some feelings or tendencies got exposed. I think this is a basic therapy fallacy and a deception.