As some of you know I'm doing a research paper on erotic transference, a subject that I have absolutely no personal investment or experience in. Ummm, yeah. Anyway...

I promised I would update you guys with interesting information that I found out. So far, this has been fascinating The first book I have been reading is called Psychotherapy: An Erotic Relationship: Transference & Countertransference Passion by David Mann

The chapter I am reading now is called: Erotic Transference: Real or Unauthentic? The author is trying to prove that there is no real difference between the feelings of real love and transference love. He states that transference love is completely authentic. This is something that I have struggled with over these last two years of therapy-- wondering if transference feelings are, in fact, 'real' feelings.

I wanted to share with you, something that the author said when making his case that transference love and real love are the same. This really struck me. Here it is:

"It is not the charm of the therapist that is attractive, but what is attractive about the analytic setting-- being listened to and understood, accepted at our worst, not being exploited, all the qualities, in fact, we look for in a lover."

I think this is such an important point, which allows me to see that the feelings are very real.

The author goes on to cite E. Person, another writer who has done a lot of work in erotic transference. Person (comparing transference love to real love) says:

"Just as there is a unique dynamic characterizing the transactions between each pair of lovers, every therapeutic dyad too, had its unique rhythm and tone."