Rather mixed feelings toward my mother. On one hand until I was 13 she severely emotionally, verbally abused me. Some things she said Why did I ever get a daughter like you. This was definitely not a compliment. You're dirt. You're garbage. Conversely I could tell her anything that happened to me In fact she encouraged me to not let anything She was at those times quite understanding. When I was in my early teens she completely reformed Never abused me in any way since then.
When I was in my mid 20s I was gang raped with one man holding a butcher knife. A different man some years later there was an abusive relationship who lived with me. A really controlling sadistic jerk I'm seeing a very thoughtful man He could be more expressive but he is a good decent man. I appreciate him. He was a good friend of my late hubby Jerry. Jerry and I lived together for 20 years. He passed from an acute leukemia. Still miss him I appreciate Ethan too.