Thank you for your response and your validation. I wish you well in your own journey. I'll just repeat what my own therapist said; We have more strength than we know ir give ourselves credit for.


Your response touch is a chord in me because there were moments when I actually dared my partner to " Just go on and hit me." She would act with such hostility and do everything short of actual physical violence, The way she would march up to me and glare at me and stare me down with such aggression, it felt like she wanted to hit me. But then she would act like I was crazy for saying such a thing.

I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through. I don't know if you do already, but it may help to keep a journal of your experiences for yourself. As you get through this, and you will, it could help for you to keep in touch with your own reality. I look back now and I'm so grateful I kept a journal. For all the reasons stated above.

I only wish I'd been more honest with people as I was going through this. Even though I understand now why I didn't reach out (issues with communication in general and family dynamics,) if I could jump in a time machine and go back to give myself advice, I would tell myself to go ahead and talk to a friend about what was happening. Find someone and just talk.

How I'd wish I just had told someone anything to the effect of. "You know, my partner and I had this huge fight last night and.... "

Anyway much love to you all