I've been dealing with major depression and literally every diagnosable eating disorder (lately EDNOS) since I was 11 but this week I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and PTSD after just turning 18 and am having a super hard time dealing with it. I knew I had BPD but didn't expect a PTSD diagnosis although it's probably accurate and it seems like all my symptoms are amplified and somehow more real since I got the diagnosis. I haven't slept a night since then (it's been about 5 days? but I sometimes sleep during the day) and keep having anxiety attacks. My therapist thinks I'm going through a depressive episode and re-traumatized myself just by talking about my trauma. I'm also trying to quit cigs right now and I'm at two days. This has by far been my most productive depressive episode but also kind of my worst. Like I absolutely always have to be doing SOMETHING or I'll have a huge anxiety attack/flashbacks/want a smoke or to self harm or start seeing things, which usually happens during a depressive episode.
I guess I just needed to vent, I don't have many people to talk to. Thanks for listening.

BQ