Actually, my father thinks I'm successful. He sometimes feels that I'm not happy or depressed, and begins counting the things I achieved. Yet, I still see myself as a failure. I'm not sure what your standards are, but for me not having friends, not being able to talk to ladies, and not participating in activities, are all signs of failure to me. I think people respect me as long as I'm hiding. But no matter what education or job I have, without a social life, nothing has a meaning.

I agree with you about parents making mistakes, but I think my parents, despite their best intentions, caused a permanent damage to my personality. I grew up fearing criticism, because my father didn't spare it. No wonder why I'm afraid talking to people. In my mind, the first thought comes to me is that he/she will criticize me.

I don't think my life has been meaningful at any point. I don't even have memories to cherish. I don't remember one beautiful day in my life. I didn't even attend my graduation convocations because I feared being around people. When I had the chance, I hid.

I only eat, drink, work, and sleep, all alone, and I don't even do any of them as I should. This is my life. If this isn't failure, I wonder what it is?