The anxiety, as a separate disorder, would definitely be messing with the way your bipolar manifests. This could be why it appears to you that you have no break, no 'normal' me to be found. Are you being treated by a T for the anxiety? There are many tools that can be used to at least bring it down a notch or two. Getting the anxiety under control may be the key here, at least for now. Severe anxiety is hell, esp when the meds are not helping. Have you ever tried a Beta-Blocker? They lower the blood-pressure and heart-rate and can be more helpful than benzo's. These are just a few ideas. Talk to your treatment team. It is possible to find stability. A complex situation may require a complex solution and time but hang in there. Things can get better.