My "normal" is like being able to see life with a wide angle lens and feel a wide range of emotions. I'm also less impulsive but, ironically, my "normal" causes more discussions at therapy because of that wide angle view - and those wide ranges of emotion, I have more incoming information to experience compared to when I'm depressed or manic. When I'm manic or depressed, I really don't care about what's going on around me, I'm focused on what's happening in the mania or depression and the real world continues on as it is while I'm in my own space. But, "normal" presents what's happening all around me and I see it, experience it, think about it and have to process it.

I was unstable for a number of years with rapid fire cycles one after another before I had any stability and when I finally had a prolonged period of stability, it required just as much therapy to make the adjustment as the cycles did because of the difference in the kind of experience I was then having. I had to handle real time, as they came life situations without depression or mania distracting me from them. I had to learn how to handle stress and decisions without the cloudiness and confusion of mania and depression.

I'm sure what I've said is confusing because I've read it and it sounds confusing but the best way I can describe it is that my "normal" is again, like being able to see everything with a wide angle lens and feel a wide range of emotions and I have a lot better impulse control.