I echo pachyderm, and would like to add I have noticed you have opened up gradually in the time you have been here.

You write of how you fear criticism, many of us do, most people do not understand how to give contructive criticism so it is hardly surprising we tend to view criticism as negative rather than something we can use to build from.

Do you find it hard to accept compliments and praise by any chance? Are these perhaps strange and unsettling for you?