Until just a few weeks ago I didn't realize how bad the holidays are for me. For many years I've gotten 'sick', especially during Christmas. I always chalked it up to just being nervous for whatever reason. Anyway, this year my Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday ended and began with me being hospitalized because for the last few weeks at least, I've been feeling suicidal. Right now I'm feeling ok, although feeling nervous about seeing my folks for Christmas, especially my dad.