Well said! The metaphor of a mine field is one that I've used in therapy. I tend to lay 'traps' for my T, I suppose to test the strength of her care? We started calling it a mine field; but it's a mine field that I'm also caught in. The trap is that anything she says, I can use against her to prove whatever f-ed up thing I'm trying to prove. Usually that she doesn't care about me.

The 'high alert' is troubling, I think, for all of us. Hyper-vigilance in T-speak...I don't know if you all are different, but I question every.single.word. that's said to me. This little inner critic twists it all around and forces me to see the danger in all of it.

Here are a couple of fun exchanges:

T: "Yes, I truly care about you."
Me: "No you don't. You have to say that because I pay you to say it."
T: "I'm allowed to have feelings."
Me: "You're allowed to lie about your feelings."

T: "How are you today?"
Me: "I'm fine, thanks."
T: "I'm really glad to hear that."
Inner critic: "She thinks you're ok, so she's going to leave you now because her job is done."