I think my "normal" is a slightly depressed mood, that's where I am most often when I'm doing okay in life. if I feel good at all there are problems and I'm irritable at minimum. the longest I was doing okay since I was a teenager was when I was about 22, I felt "normal" and was doing well in school and with relationships (no romantic ones at the time) for about 14 months. other than that my life is usually a living hell, and I want out of it. but there is no way out.