Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonely Warrior
I don't blame my parents for my physical health. I know I don't eat healthy or exercise or drink enough water. These are my decisions. But I think parents have a great influence in programming their children's minds. My responsibility is to change this programming, but it's not easy.
I would have chosen personality over education and wealth, because I feel I have no respect whatsoever in the world. While others with less education and money have respect, friends, and girlfriends, and they enjoy their times. Education and money aren't everything. They don't buy happiness and genuine respect. My father has this twisted view that money buys respect and happiness. Maybe because he was raised poor, but I wasn't raised poor, and education and money don't mean anything to me.
This forum has been a place for me to write my thoughts and feelings, but I haven't learned or progressed a bit since I first signed up more than a couple of years ago. This doesn't mean I feel better when I write, but sometimes I feel I need to say something, and I have no one to talk to, so I come here and write.
Do I like being praised and complimented? No actually I don't, and I don't search for it, because I think people are hypocrite when praising me when I do something good, while when I'm in a bad situation and depressed no one asks about me.
|
I had thought you might say you didn't like being praised or complimented. I'm reading that you feel people don't care about you because they don't ask about you when you are depressed, so it's hypocritical of them to praise you at other times as you feel they don't really care and their praise is false.
Do you confide in many people about your depression? I mean people other than your parents.
You have developed very different values from your family of origin, but you understand the likely reasons why your parents have the values they have. You understand the values you grew up with are not helping you achieve what you want to achieve = respect, happiness, relationships and you want to change that programming but it's hard. Yes, it must be hard, and if just writing here and expressing that is part of how you deal with this then that is good.
Lastly you feel like you have made no progress here. From my perspective you have more recently described in greater detail about your thoughts and feelings, it appears as progress to me, I appreciate your perspective may differ however.