Well, I think I am really going hypo here. I know I am posting too much, sorry for that, but I feel writing helps. It is going a little out of hands here. I am not drinking or anything but I feel pretty much drunk all the time. Today I had two dates and I am writing with about a million more people. I am physically overactive, moving all the time, dancing, listening to music in an obsessive way. Can't seem to calm myself down. The last days it has been a beautiful way of hypo or getting into hypo, I was more or less calm inside but very active and now it is this strange feeling of impossible to calm down, I feel so agitated and I already did some breathing exercises that couldn't get me down. I would like to go to bed soon as it it 1 am but I don't know how I can manage. Chain smoking. I am probably going to take a benzo to sleep. I just had an experience that has me worried now. Met with one guy and invited him to my place (not living alone, so not risky, even though I met him via Tinder) and I really liked him, awfully attractive and we showed each other our drawings and I had some pretty ****ed up stuff in there and now I really feel embarassed even though he said he liked it and I don't draw too bad but I think he might think I am really nuts now. Anyway I guess that doesn't matter and I am just writing non-important crap.

I will see my pdoc on Thursday and tell him what is happening and I suppose I am safe as long as I stay away from all kinds of substances and sorry for the long post. Any advices for calming down here?