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Dec 11, 2016, 07:11 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: New York
Posts: 19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hadleyrae
I've been dealing with major depression and literally every diagnosable eating disorder (lately EDNOS) since I was 11 but this week I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and PTSD after just turning 18 and am having a super hard time dealing with it. I knew I had BPD but didn't expect a PTSD diagnosis although it's probably accurate and it seems like all my symptoms are amplified and somehow more real since I got the diagnosis. I haven't slept a night since then (it's been about 5 days? but I sometimes sleep during the day) and keep having anxiety attacks. My therapist thinks I'm going through a depressive episode and re-traumatized myself just by talking about my trauma. I'm also trying to quit cigs right now and I'm at two days. This has by far been my most productive depressive episode but also kind of my worst. Like I absolutely always have to be doing SOMETHING or I'll have a huge anxiety attack/flashbacks/want a smoke or to self harm or start seeing things, which usually happens during a depressive episode.
I guess I just needed to vent, I don't have many people to talk to. Thanks for listening.
BQ
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I self-diagnosed five nights ago, talked to my counselor about it the next day, and she agreed I probably have BPD. Along with Bipolar and PTSD diagnosed seven years ago.
I have a friend who has the same diagnosis. I never realized we'd have this much in common, she and I. Now, I'm researching and trying to stay hopeful. This new diagnosis may mean an adjustment in meds and counseling that actually helps.
My Bipolar has psychotic features and I have hallucinations, too. Mostly auditory. A voice that's always telling me to kill myself on a near-hourly basis, some days. At my worst, the hallucinations can include visual ones, too. But lately, I've been having more moodswings than anything. Several times an hour, some days. And nightmares every time I close my eyes. Which, for the past eight months, is never for longer than three hours at a time. So I'm always tired and hanging on by a thread.
I feel your pain. I don't wanna start smoking again, but I have been binge-eating and spending.
Our symptoms aren't exactly the same, but you aren't alone. At least not on this site 
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(CAUTION!: This bug is diagnosed with Bipolar I, PTSD, and ADD. Waiting on a diagnosis for BPD.)
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"Worms? I hate worms! They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a rubber room. I died in that rubber room. Then they put me in the cold, hard ground. There were worms in that ground. Worms? I hate worms! They drive me crazy...!"
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