:-(

I want to send him an email. Dare me? Double dare me? Double double dare me?

Dear t,

You suck at emails. That sucks for me because I'm supposed to go to this other city early next year for a month or two. And I'm supposed to go to another country late next year for a whole year. And I didn't want to go... Because of you. And I hoped that we could stay in touch via email while I was gone and that that would make the whole thing manageable for me. But you suck at emails. And you don't seem to have any desire to get better with them. And so that really sucks for me. Because I'm going to lose you. And then I'll fall apart. And that really sucks.

Do you feel trapped? When I was expressing admiration for Lewis I was expressing admiration for how he managed to take something that seemed so obviously crazy and he managed to argue for it so well that it might actually be true after all. You said something about 'I guess that view would be appealing... I mean, so often we feel trapped... And to think that possible worlds might exist...'

Do you feel trapped? Trapped in your life sometimes? Does my dependency make you feel trapped too? Is that why you find it appealling that people might be quite self-sufficient and highly functional. Not dependent on you? Does my dependency disgust you?

:-(

I hate me :-(