My husband is holding my meds for me right now.

Right now we live with his parents who own a dog kennel. He had my meds hidden at the shop. I like going there in the morning to visit our cats and let them out. I like going by myself because our daughter gets bored after five minutes and wants to go back to the house and I like staying with our cats for a half hour at least.

Today I found my meds. I took out eight gabapentins because right now my anxiety IS MAKING ME GO INSANE. It's so bad. I have this cloud of dread over my head all of the time. I can't stand it!

I didn't take them. I was just going to save them for when things get really bad. I didn't take them out to kill myself or anything (obviously! I didn't take enough out!).

I came clean with my husband about it because I'm incapable of hiding anything from him.

Now he's disappointed in me because I actively tried to find my meds, but I was just curious if I'd be able to find them. It's not my fault he had them hidden in a really obvious spot!

I told him that I want to have my meds back! He said no. We had an in depth discussion about it. He doesn't think I can have them back because I'm impulsive.

I told him I want them back!!!!!!!

I CAN'T STAND MY ANXIETY ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!

He said that we needed to talk to my pdoc about it and do what she wants. I told him that my pdoc is completely useless and all she wants to do is change my AP and doesn't care about my anxiety.

And he said he's not going to let me go down to the shop by myself anymore. I like visiting our cats in the morning by myself. It's relaxing. This sucks!

Should I not have my meds back?

Should my husband be disappointed in me?

He said I have zero insight.

He said I do not understand the severity of my situation.

He said he IS NOT going to let me have my meds back!