That's great that you've had a realization, Muf. Don't go too all-or-nothing with it; the feelings/understanding will come and go. Life is a process.

I'm glad Christmas is not looking so bad. I bought a couple presents yesterday, am trying to take it slow and think what I want and not get caught up in everyone else's/the commercial hubub. I'm started reading my seasonal romance novels from the drugstore, LOL.