After finally being diagnosed after 10 long years that I was bi polar 2, i am thankful for the meds. I was initially diagnosed at 18, but that diagnosis was reversed by another psychiatrist, who told me I just have a hard time dealing with stress and I should look for other outlets. I looked alright...and crawled right into the bottom of a vodka bottle. During the manic times, I felt unstoppable. But a few days later after the mania wore off, I sunk so low that i didn't care about anything, and it has cost me a lot - jobs, friends and homes. When I decided it was too much, that there has GOT to be something else wrong here, I moved back home and asked my family doctor for help. He referred me to a psychiatrist and it was re-confirmed: Bi-Polar 2 with underlying panic disorder due to PTSD.

I was terrified...the prospect of being medicated for the rest of my life was not the answer I was looking for, but I was open to anything. Unfortunately, I got a doc who liked to over-medicate to treat other symptoms rather than tweak the dosages of the necessary meds. I asked my clinic to find me a new doc on the advice of my counselor, and my current psychiatrist is wonderful. He reduced my meds from 8(!!!) to two everyday, and one as my 'safety net'.

My life has a new clarity that it never had before. Sure, its a pain to remember the meds some days, and using other meds to supplement when i go into a hypomanic episode isn't a thrill, but I know that I need the help of those meds so I can finally be happy and well-grounded. The way I look at it, there is a reason for everything, and God doesn't make everyone perfect. This is just my glitch, and I think it has made me a stronger person just to realize all of this.

Sure, I still get manic now and then, but don't we all??