Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul
Do you ever wake up ( not sleeping sense ) and find yourself standing there wondering what day it is, how much time has passed, who you are, feeling displaced? Moments of realization? Reality? Why am I like this..
Is it possible for an individual to be so fragmented they have a fragment for every action? UnIntegrated needs, responsibilities, thoughts , exct. Locked into moments stuck on replay to try to attempt to mange life?
Is it possible for an alter to watch without being completely aware, not noticing they aren't in control because they have never controlled anything before in their life ?
or a mixture, twins , one for physical an one for mental that operate together but don't communicate ?
Thanks
|
as a body born yes many times I would become aware and not know what day it was, what I did, how I got where I was. but this never bothered me because its just how I always was since before I was 5 yrs old.
what was amazing and strange to me was waking up and remembering what was going on, remembering what day it was, remembering how I got from point A to point B after integration. my wife still thinks its a bit funny and odd that at times I will stop what I am doing and say wow I remember watching that show last night, wow I remember how to get to the store and remember going there. Sometimes I will stop and just marvel at the fact that I have the ability to remember now.
As an alter no none of my alters had problems with keeping the days straight. my system wasnt one built on this alter comes out on this day and time. so they never had to really worry about time factors. my alters took control based on what their sense of agency (jobs, purpose, reasons for being created and more) so what they worried about was how they were going to get this problem solved or that one solved. because this was the way things were since very early childhood it was their normal not to keep track of time related things.
Im not saying they didnt become aware and think ok what day is this? because they did but they didnt go into this massive panic and worry about it. it was like ok whats on the calendar for today? wheres the list of things that need to be done today? and thoughts like I really hate it when she is afraid of spiders now I have to kill the big bad monster for her, what a wimp (while setting a spider free outside)
my point my alters were more focused on taking care of what ever caused me the body born to dissociate rather than sitting around worrying about what time it is and how did I get here. besides that even though I had limited co consciousness with my alters they already knew what was going on because they had their own way of knowing when they were to take control...
example how did rainy know there was a rain storm going on and that I could not handle so she had to do that for me... she had to already have a way to know and keep track of what was going on, when and how.
another example how did the alter that took care of intimacy know when she was supposed to take control and deal with dating and intimacy... she had to already have her own way of knowing what was going on, when and how.
I do remember the first time as an integrated person when I did have problems with time and memory. I found out an amazing bit of information... that its normal and its also part of many different mental and physical health problems to have difficulty with things like not knowing what time it is, what day it is and all that. (if it wasnt a normal thing to happen we would not have this great invention called clocks and calendars right )
Also medications can cause this kind of forgetfulness too.
dissociative forgetfulness like time loss, memory loss is an amazing thing especially with DID and OSDD. if one has trouble with it all they need to do is ask another and problem solved. before I was integrated I marked things on a daily journal, daily log, calendars, scraps of paper, so if there was ever a question to this affect it was normal just to pull out the journal, logs calendars and what have you.
my suggestion is read some of your past posts. I bet you will find many examples of how your own system keeps track of time whether you have DID or not. you can also contact your treatment provider who will explain to you how your questions fit in with what they have diagnosed you with back in january.
another suggestion start keeping a daily journal. its easy just go to a inexpensive store and buy a note book for 50 cents to a dollar and then you write in it the day and time and what you are doing. then when there is a memory problem all you need to do is open the journal.
another suggestion mark things on a calendar and x off the days. that way you can keep track of what day is it. if you do end up on your next eval with the result that you have DID or OSDD have no fear your alters will do the same even if you dont have co consciousness they will know how to do it and when to do it.