Thanks everyone. I'm glad I'm not alone. Another major thing I should have mentioned... in afraid of what I say to her because I'm in the social security process and I'm afraid of what could come out in front of the judge. For example, I have a long history of substance abuse. Well my attorney has turned clients down just because of this and I'm terrified he'll fish it out in my files. I'm sure it's already in my pdoc notes [emoji30]. So it's like I watch what I say even though my history is still a very big part of who I am now.