Hi All, I've been reading this forum for years, but I don't recall ever posting before. I'm extremely shy so I'm forcing myself to put a toe in the water. My main problem lately is just being sick and tired of being sick. Been in a mixed state for weeks now. Over the last 3 days I read all 82 pages of the bipolar forum.

I'm also starting to get into a major freak out because my pdoc that I've been seeing for 7 years is retiring in March. I should be grateful that I at least have a warning, but all I feel is terror. The meds I'm on seem to work when I take them as proscribed. WHat if the new doc wants me to change meds, has a different style of being a doctor etc. my current Doc lets me be involved in chosing my meds and the dose that works for me.

I need to find a female Doctor because I just can't trust male doctors. I've tried it and it didn't work.

My rational mind tells me that this is a disease and doesn't have to rule my life, but it takes all my willpower just to pretend to be a functioning person. I don't know I'm just exhausted and wish it would all go away.

Thanks for listening