I broke down today. I was literally shaking in my therapist's office. Almost got into accidents driving, because my anxiety is so high, and I feel out of control (had a close call twice). My head hurts from all the crying. My therapist recommended I call my pdoc tomorrow and try to get in asap since my mood swings are getting severe. I feel like I'm completely falling apart.

Family tries to give suggestions, but they seem to think as long as I follow simple suggestions, everything will be okay, but they do not realize it is not that easy, and I'm just really self-destructive when I get into these states of mind. I wish the people close to me would understand better. I've made my mother mad because I can't control what comes out of my mouth, although I know it's no excuse.

I'm exhausted, but feel too agitated to be able to go right to sleep. These meds are not doing their job anymore. I just don't want to end up in the hospital. Just letting it out, since I don't really know what else to do anymore.