Posted this in psychotherapy section but this applies here as well-

Greetings- So- the worst feeling ever is to desire therapy but not be able to afford it... Where is free counseling offered? I hate asking for it for free but that is the only way-

The dilemma is- I have chronic pain in my back and neck- that I don't have a full plan for healing from- but the chronic pain in my back and neck, triggers the same physical pain that I felt after I was sexually assaulted- so I feel like I have been reliving awful events for like 2-3 months, without any air to breathe.

I also have disordered eating, which has an effect on the chronic pain- in regards to flare ups- allergic reactions- or extra pain- so I do not want to eat poorly because eating poorly triggers the chronic pain that triggers my emotions to go into the same state of when I was sexually assaulted.

However, the feeling of being sexual assaulted triggers me into disordered eating- as I use food to numb my emotions from the violent circumstance that took place through disordered eating. But when I eat poorly, this triggers the pain in my body to go into flare ups- and allergic reactions.

Also, the chronic pain is why I left my job- because I have had chronic pain for 10 years- so I left my job because of the chronic pain but, leaving my job caused me to lose my health insurance- which in turn, causes me to lose access to therapy.

I know that all may not make sense to you, but if you are following me still- you can understand why I desperately need therapy and help and assistance...because I am in a cyclical nightmare, like a domino effect of problems, and I feel suicidal but I can't afford the counseling.