Sorry you're going through this.

It's not easy to give away a pet because pets are family, so I understand how much pain it probably brings you.

Honestly, I can't blame you for getting mad because I probably would have snapped too. It's hard. But remember: breaking things is not the answer, as much as you want to do it. You have to do your best to restrain yourself, and personally I struggle with the same exact thing -- trying not to break things out of anger. So I get it. It's very hard not to give in.

Do you currently have a therapist who can help you cope with your situation? (You've mentioned you've talked to counselors before, but idk if you have one right now.) I've found therapy very helpful in this regard. I often have to take really, really deep breaths and walk away from whatever angers me so that I can "cool down". You don't want to do anything too rash, you know?

I hope your surgery goes well for ya.