I wish I could find a support chat or posting site where I can find collaboration or even various answers for some issues. I've joined a few that I've been apart of for awhile, mostly forums, but I can't feel settled as long as I've lost the the friends that I have. Thinking that there's something defective with me as a person is a pretty unavoidable line of thought as long as no one particularly cares. I can admit "no one" is not true and exaggerating but it's a loss when losing multiple people from a close support system.

I'm definitely not the most social person by any means, but I have always totally agreed that we are all instinctively social beings to some extent-- on some sort of spectrum. That is why it's hard for me to just be like "oh so now I have less friends.. No need to question it! Or ask them what I did wrong!" Because at the same time it feels inappropriate to express even a tiny bit of desperation to find out what the deal is to ease my inner emotional pain it causes at times.