I have no children, but by choice. Still, I empathize a lot with your situation. I'm about your age, my husband and I married in our late 30s and we've been through a lot. My work history has been pretty unstable in the last few years, causing us to not be able to meet financial goals we have and he has suffered from extreme work stress. All of this has really strained our relationship at times.

Sadly, people can be really insensitive with their comments. In the end, I think whatever women do with regards to having children gets judged - you're too young, you're too old, you have too many kids, if you have one you are depriving them of a sibling, if you have none you must hate children or been too picky finding a mate. It never stops.

I have several friends in their 40s who always wanted to be mothers but couldn't due to different reasons ranging from health to not meeting the right guy when they were younger. They all felt similarly to you at first, very hopeless and sad because something they dreamed of couldn't happen. In retrospect, 3-5 years out, they all have come to terms with it in their own ways. It's not that they never have a sad thought about it, but it doesn't rule their life. They have found other pursuits to give their life meaning. One went to therapy for several months while she was dealing with accepting it, and she said it helped.

I know I have seen some fourms and similar online resources for women that are childless but not by choice. You may want to seek some of those out for support.