I was hated by my father, but I think despised is too harsh. I was a 'surprise' baby and I believe dad felt I screwed up his plans for saving money. I guess I was more of a dissapointment to him because I did not bend to his irrational will. His last coherent words on earth were to me to tell me how I was such a dissappointment. In my teenage years I did feel hated by him.

I recieved a harsh and manipulating response from society. Still do, but now I don't let it stop me from creating my own kinder reality.

I have come to an understanding that people can become damaged. My father was damaged by his mother. But were I to give in and accept 'damaged' in my life, I would have no hope. I have to strive to heal the broken child within. This creates a more stable adult. I don't find it, so I create it.

Thank you for this thread! I had been dwelling on the above before I saw the post - freaky!

VoN