At Jon's funeral, I promised his mother that I wouldn't be a stranger, that I would keep in touch. He died September 17, and I haven't been able to bring myself to go back and see his family yet. I want to, and I know that I should. I just hurts so much to think about going to his house, and not seeing him there.

I also have this wish that I could have something of Jon's. Just something of his to hold while I cry about him, and to him. While I'm missing him. An old t-shirt or one of his jackets. I want to ask his mom for something, just one thing. But I don't know if that would be appropriate. Do you think it would be wrong of me to ask that? I don't want to take away from her, but I really could use something to hang on to.

How do I get up the courage to just go there? I'm trying to write about my memories of and feelings for Jon, and I thought I would share some of that with his parents. But it's hard to even write it. It breaks my heart in two.

Please, some advice and opinions if anyone has them...

Angela