Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
I think you are at a point in your life where you need to spend time grieving whatever took place in your life that hurt you and took from the quality of life you deserved to have.
Complex PTSD is about one's history of perhaps several life traumas where they were hurt yet did not have the life experience to know how to deal with these challenges. From what I have read that you have shared, you were often very strong and even outgoing. You did make a big effort to grow and be strong in spite of challenges.
You faced a big trauma and these big traumas most definitely take time to grieve and come to a level where one finally finds their way towards developing a personal sense of peace.
Your journey at this point is to start to see the rainbow itself, never mind finding the end of it.  |
I was strong and outgoing and I'm sure my Dad thought I would handle his decision better *sigh* If I were not strong for myself I would have never made it. I guess at that point I didn't see the past issues as traumas, no one ever talked about that. Especially in Law Enforcement, asking for help was a weakness. Some situations they would set up debriefing counselors but no one would go to them because of the stigma. It was the "suck it up butter cup mentality" Then reminders from Senior Officers that you are going to experience worse things, so if you can't handle this you need to get out now. It sounds harsh but really it wasn't. Because I didn't want someone covering my back who was going to run when it got intense. So I understood that eventually.
Find the rainbow, you have to have the energy and will to want to look for it. I think I did at one point in this journey but after years of trying to find the answers of how to make this better.....I'm like TWO...I'm tired too.