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h0kie
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Member Since Sep 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,526
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Default Dec 05, 2004 at 11:25 AM
 
Christmas would be a great excuse to "drop in" if you feel ready. Take them some cookies or or something of that nature. Even if you don't stay long, make the effort. It sounds like his mom would appreciate it. It will probably be sad, so anticipate that. But if you go a few times it will get easier. I would think his parents would like to see you. I would recommend calling first...but you may not need to, that is your judgement call.

As far as asking for something of his...I know the feeling. When my grandmother died my grandfather let all the grandkids pick one thing to remember her by. I actually got 2 because they were a set. When my grandfather died I was heartbroken...still am. I told my mom I wanted one thing of his...I didn't care what. Nothing was ever really said after that...but as it turns out. I got their house. Technically it's my mom's, but she put it in a trust for me for when she passes. So now, even if my cousins and brother were to take every piece of furniture and other stuff out of here (and one would if she could), I would still have memories. Sometimes I walk in the door and it smells like grandpa's house. But I digress...

I don't know what kind of a time crunch you are under with school. But I wouldn't ask the first time you go see his parents. Mainly because it could be constued that you are just there for that. You know? Plus, they may bring it up and save you the trouble. You just never know. I would wait until the 2nd or 3rd time you see them (unless you just plan to see them once) to ask for anything.

Another idea...which would probably be really hard would be to offer to help his parents go through his room. I don't know if they're at that place yet or if you are, but you could easily say, "oh I remember this shirt...or this jacket and ask to keep it."

I hope this helped. It's a sticky situation no matter how you look at it. Do what you think is right and take comfort in that.

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