Just to add to what Beth said, (and playing devil's advocate) her husband is probably extremely upset. Just like you. He lost his wife just as you lost your mother figure. I would choose to believe that he lashed out in anger because he is hurting too.

Your Jane would not want him to do that to you, but maybe he didn't know better. Sometimes, we have to forgive people's mistakes. Maybe he was trying to cover his hurt.

Does that make what he said and did right? No way.