After almost 7 years of my daughters being absent. I've come to decide that I won't be trying to contact them anymore. It hurts too much to not hear from them, to wonder if they got what I sent them and not even a "thanks dad." I love them more than anything in existence, but I am letting myself fall deeper because all I think of is them.

Some people would probably call me a bad father. Everyone I've loved has been ripped away. I hope they come back someday but I can't spare any more of myself being destroyed. I'm so tired from giving so much love, never having it come back so I can refill. I'm running on empty and don't know what else to do.

I'd give anything to be loved for me and not used by a woman. I'd give my life just to be able to hug my daughters again and tell them I love them, even if it was only one more time.

I am glad there are people who have their loved ones gor the holidays and other days. I am also saddened because I don't have it and why I can't have it. I get told I'm a nice guy, but that's it. I find the saying, "nice guys finish last", more true each and every day. I continue to wonder what is so wrong with me. Am I doomed to be alone because I'm nice? What's the point of being nice if it only gets you used, hurt, and abandoned, even by your own kids.