Quote:
Originally Posted by Iwanttojoin
I know how you feel,I feel like that too. It's just terrible the things women with kids say to you. I now avoid social gatherings where you get asked how many kids do you have and you say none, then they reply oh you must be one of those career women. I have a high pressure career I loathe that I took up to support myself because no man asked me to marry him and bear his kids. My parents are divorced and my mother instilled a great fear of pregnancy and not having enough money after your husband leaves (my father ran off and married another woman when I was 4). By the time I figured out that was my Mum's experience and would not be mine I was in mid 30s and trying hard to meet the right guy. Now I am 48. Women with kids need to understand how awful it feels to have missed that opportunity in life, not everyone is loved by a man who wants to marry and have kids before it is too late and not everyone chooses to become a single mum. So please have some compassion we are not career women by choice, we would love to have had your options. I will toast a drink to you tonight, wherever you are, the writer of this post, and send you good thoughts, you are not alone.
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thank you for understanding my pain, as clearly you can relate. I am sorry for your pain as well. The holidays are the worst. Everywhere I look it reminds me of what I missed. People say "just adopt" but it's not that simple. It's not that I'm against adoption but when you are told there is no way you can have a child of your own with someone that you love it's heart shattering. You can't relate until you've been there. Yes, looking back, I could have gotten pregnant if it didn't matter to me by whom, or been a single mom, but I didn't think I was asking for too much just by wanting to find the right person before marriage and have a baby once I was married. It wasn't by my choice that this person didn't show up in my life until much later and unfortunately it took too many years for that to happen and science and biology don't wait. Part of me hates myself like I somehow royally screwed my life up because what was wrong with me that I couldn't find the right guy sooner, but then when we met his life took a turn to where we weren't in a place to have kids. It's like the universe or God of whatever just didn't want me to have kids (at least that's how it feels) which makes me feel worse like I'ma bad person even though I love kids.