I still don't fully understand about your disease reference.

I do understand about anger at oneself, and I know how destructive that can be. It can also make it hard for others to get close to us too.

I also understand that problems can seem overwhelming, I think the only way to get around that is break things down into small steps so they are less intimidating. If we try to tackle everything at once it is like climbing a mountain.

It is unusual for all of ones peer class to be as you describe, and I can't help but wonder if some of those lives aren't quite as rosy as they would seem. At my age (40s) I have many peers who have never married, never had children, some who are divorced etc. Life isn't straightforward for many of us, and many people struggle in different ways but like yourself they do not necessarily talk about that.

Some of my happiest friends are single but live their lives amongst friends, marriage/children is not for everyone. I know others who met special people later in their life too, they simply weren't ready before then.

I am married, with grown up son, but I don't think of my life in terms of success - there are many things I haven't done or achieved compared to others and quite possibly never will. This is not about me but I use myself as an example. I accept myself as I am - that is self-compassion.

I don't know if any of the above makes sense to you but I am willing to clarify if not.