I'm addicted to hypomania and mania. It's bad.

I keep intentionally triggering these episodes with Adderall because they just feel so good. I can't stop.

I was already hypomanic when I took Adderall yesterday, but I took the Adderall because I wanted to prolong the hypomanic episode and because I wanted to intensify it. I'm afraid I'm heading toward mania (which isn't necessarily a bad thing for me because I don't get delusions, but I do get mild hallucinations).

The first time I took Adderall, I took it two days in a row, which made me stay up for 4 days straight. I learned my lesson not to take it two days in a row. The second time I took it, I became hypo because I took it only once.

Does anyone else intentionally trigger (hypo)mania?