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Bugs-N-Hugs · Dec 14, 2016, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

It looks like I hit a nerve here. Feeling bad about oneself is like having an old friend that is hard to let go off. To the mind it means survival. Therapy can help you let go of that process. Thus, I am not here to re-enforce ones bad feelings about oneself. I encourage you to stay true to yourself, and dedicate yourself to your own healing. Therapy is not easy and takes much courage.

Of course, you hit a nerve. You may not have meant to, but to me, it seemed implied that by me researching and studying an illness that may actually be one that I have and can be successfully treated for, after seven years of treatment with little success, that I'm the one setting back my own healing. By being proactive and getting informed. By caring. That, of course, pissed me the eff off. I by no means have had the worst time ever, but neither have I had the easiest. I'm certain that if you're here, like a lot of us, life hasn't been all puppies and roses for you, either. So when someone says something that implies that one is basically being resistant to healing and not applying themselves to being as mentally healthy as they're able, it understandably feels like an undeserved dig.

I have no plans to discontinue treatment, though I may look for other providers. If I can't trust that I'm being listened to and taken seriously, what am I even in counseling for? It solves nothing to have one's woes fall on deaf ears. When one doesn't feel listened to, as perhaps evidenced by my previous reply to you, one can get vituperative and spiteful and angry. And while that last may be righteous, the other two are not. So if I came across as judgmental and cruel to you, then I apologize for a rant that while honest, may not have been tactful. I don't apologize for the way I felt and feel, but perhaps for letting myself fly off the handle a bit, and in your direction. (I have no middle ground, only complete suppression of feelings and spewing feelings all over the place like an emo-bomb.)

So, TL;DR? Thank you for replying with advice you thought was and may have found helpful in your own life. Clearly it wasn't what I needed or wanted to hear, mostly because it's never worked to calm, comfort, or motivate me. I apologize for letting my temper get the best of my pen, though my feelings and thoughts and response were legit and honest . . . and for as part of my recovery, I'm trying my best to be honest about said feelings. Or at least not purposely dishonest. And finally, I wish you continued success in your own recovery. Cheers.