I get similar feelings/thoughts sometimes. It's comfortable being in the depression because it is familiar. However when it no longer controls your life, it can be somewhat scary being liberated because it's almost like we're expected to act completely different.

But if you're like me and have always had depression running in the background (sometimes it's more prominent than other times), then you'd know that our actions and decisions don't change by much since we're still hardwired as the same person. We just might not be caught up in the intense rumination and overthinking dark thoughts.

I also don't think it's because you're bored or seeking attention. It's probably just a natural part of who we are. We tend to feel more intensely and thus need more time on our own to sort out the emotions, especially if something comes up that is overwhelming.