Ah yes.. The good old "I ♡Hucklebees" debate of the mind I've been there many times. Sorry if that came off sounding flip or dismissive..not my intention...just what I personal association to this feeling. The truth that I have come to is that, there is no scientific evidence that can confirm or deny the order vs chaos theory of any entities existence and the more thought you give it the more you find your mind stuck in an infinite loop of possibilities that unless you have a degree in string theory physics (and still maybe if you do!) ...will eventually drive you to insanity trying to figure it all out! So what to do?.. where to find some comfort or acceptable reasoning to go with?.. that depends entirely upon your own personal inclinations. Many people flock to religions for this reason... others to science...myself.. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".
Hope you find your path my friend. Be Well and Keep Writing!