In a nutshell: New to this site and newly divorced after 26 years of marriage. My ex served me with papers a few months ago. He has been having an affair for 6 years, long distance (business trips) with another married woman with a child. We have 2 school aged/teen children. I don't blame him because I have struggled with intimacy for many years due to past trauma. But I am still devastated. He did not want couples counseling. We can't afford to live apart because I have been a full time mom and now find that I am needing to start over and train for some kind of career as a near middle-aged person. I still love my ex dearly and since we can't live apart, I'm finding it impossible to let go. He just moved out of our bed last night and slept on couch. I cried all night. We try to keep morale up for the kids which requires pretending everything is fine. (We told them we are still friends) I can't seem to recover, every day there is a new layer of grief. How long does it take to get over 26 years? I have to speed this up because I need to find a way to support myself and kids. But I find myself crying all day. I tried a therapist but not a good fit. Any advice on living together as a divorced couple?