Thanks to all of you!! Last week T said that in the therapeutic relationship the T always has the power. Well, when he took a gander at these troops, he had no choice but to change his mind! You all are great. Thanks for humoring me.

T and I talked and I feel really bad. We talked about my email. I asked him if it hurt him and he hesitated. I feel soooo guilty and sooo bad. How could I hurt T? He told me not to feel bad, that he could see how hurt I was when he read the email. He also said that I should notice that in our relationship I can get mad at him and that it will be okay. He told me that I tend to idealize or devalue people which is what I did to him. For 2 and a half years he was great, and after he hurt me I thought he was %^$&$#%^. Sigh.

He told me that he was proud that I actually came to the appointment. I said, "Did you expect otherwise?" He said that he thought I might skip out. He has no clue. I asked him if he noticed that I was a little attached to him, lol. It was a good session, but kind of low key. He assured me that therapy will NOT end until I am ready and can handle it. (never) I'm still processing everything he said.

I see him next Tuesday at 3:00. I won't need the troops but plan to assemble them for when others need them We can call them PC's Army.