In my experience, no matter where I've worked or what I've done for a living: developing healthy relationships with my co-workers has always been challenging for me. I choose to focus on the customer ~ no matter what. That's my priority.

I bring this up because it took me years to recognize and understand that what's important to me isn't necessarily a big deal to those that I work with. I have accepted that it is reality. No matter where in the world I work, doing whatever, we are people. That's how people are. I think that grasping this bottom line is very basic, but it's also a key factor in getting the job done regardless of liking (or not liking) who you're working with. Know what I mean?

1.) You mention your co-worker having a lot of annoying character traits ~ never any fun to work with people that kind of get under your skin at times. That's when I remind myself to breathe, focus on my work, and just get the job done.

2.) Now, if I'm depending upon a person like that to do X, so I can do Y, otherwise I'm going to get in trouble with Z: then I take the situation differently. I've got to admit, I don't handle situations like that very well at all. That's when I take over X & Y and do most of it myself. That way I can rest assured that the job was done the way that I think it should be done. It adds to my load a lot ~ which obviously is not ideal. *sigh*

In my opinion, you ought to just let it roll off your back as much as you can. If you feel that she's taking center stage, and it's bugging you, try to focus on something else. Something completely different that's happening at the same time. Like: at an office party, when she's hooked up with a group of people, you can meet with a couple of people that aren't involved in the group and have your own totally different conversation. Don't make the conversation about her in any way. Just relax and talk about other things. Or, when your co-worker talks about how wonderful __ is: say, "That's great," and then change the topic or move onto talking with someone else. If the lady has to take over that conversation, walk away gently & breathe deeply.

It isn't easy. Now, hopefully someone will add more helpful ideas on how to handle situations like #2, because I know my way stinks. Sorry. Gentle hugs sent your way & best wishes to you at work!!