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Old Dec 15, 2016, 07:10 AM
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Member Since: Feb 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bugs-N-Hugs View Post
I get where you're coming from--I'm 36, Bipolar I and PTSD. My NP flat-out told me she doesn't think I have BPD despite me meeting all the DSM-5 criteria for it, when only meeting FIVE is enough for a positive diagnosis. I've lost faith and trust in her as a result. And I'm now slipping with regard to my counselor, who agreed that I may "possibly" have BPD, but who I now suspect was just agreeing to keep me from getting upset or stubborn.

My family on both sides has tended toward Depression and Bipolar. And that's just my parents! My father, I'm certain, is Bipolar (undiagnosed) and now that I've done research on BPD, I'm pretty certain he's got that, too. With the exception, as far as I know, of threatening to suicide if someone left him. He left his first wife. His second wife, my mom, left him one afternoon, taking all she could carry, including me. And he's still with his third wife after nearly thirty years. He's a charming, likable, manipulative, cruel, funny, angry, easy-to-forgive-but-tough-to-trust a-hole. And I'm exactly like him. In personality and looks (sadly).

At this point, I'm considering finding an actual psychiatrist for diagnosis, since I apparently can't trust my NP and counselor to be objective or honest. Maybe you need a psychiatrist, too. And a new psychologist. I don't know. If you trust this one, to a certain extent, you may want to keep them. But if they're not taking your feelings and self-knowledge seriously. . . .

I can't work with someone who discounts what I genuinely believe and can prove to be true about myself. Your mileage may vary.

Good luck.
What you believe may be wrong. If that happens a lot, you may actually have BPD. But being very certain and very wrong is something people with BP experience as well.

Self-assessment based on some book proves nothing. Nothing like it proves anything. A diagnosis isn't proof of anything other than proof of the judgement about your problems by someone who may actually know people with BPD professionally and may be better qualified to categorise people. That's what matters, not some book. At any rate, it doesn't matter much.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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