Do you think it was an honest attempt to end his live that went wrong? Or do you think it was a self harm not intended to end his life, but rather to put him in the hospital as a cry for your sympathy?
Either way, this man is very unhealthy and was taking terrible advantage of you and treating you horribly. He wants to continue doing just that. You made your break for freedom and health.
A good psychiatrist is needed for him. He's an able bodied man who can pull himself together and pick himself up to stand on his own two feet without you. He can recover and move on without you. Heck, he'll probably even find a new gf to eventually abuse very soon.
It's completely understandable to feel everything you are feeling. A good therapist would be a good idea for you as well.
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
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