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Originally Posted by not.dead.yet
I feel so many people I know are so far ahead of me in sorting their lives out.. And I feel like this [envy] is eating me up inside.
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Jealousy is what your friend would likely feel if the other half of her relationship suddenly began shifting affection toward you. So the feeling your are mentioning there is actually envy, and there is nothing wrong with being envious of a good feeling someone else might have.
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Originally Posted by not.dead.yet
My instant gut reaction was to say something mean and try to ruin my friend's happiness, but I don't want to act like that anymore..
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There is where envy can lead to covetousness and trying to either take something away from someone or to destroy it, but then neither of you would have it.
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Originally Posted by not.dead.yet
I want to learn to deal with [all of this] in ways that won't hurt anyone...
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Maybe ask your friend for some tips or advice about how to get there.