I've started working with a dietitian and something that has helped me is knowing and saying to myself a couple things. One, I didn't fail- it is not just about my personality or willpower that controls my binging. By that I mean (or my dietitian has explained) there are a lot of factors that go into a binge and very little of it has to do with me as a person. For example, there's brain chemistry and the sort of addictive nature of it and then there's the emotional component. So we can work on the behavior part all we want but until we understand that things like shaming ourselves only feeds it, it makes changing harder. If that makes any sense, my dietitian does a way better job of explaining it.
The other thing I tell myself is, I don't have to finish a binge. At first it didn't seem to help. But now over just a couple weeks it's given me the leniency I've needed. What I do is either stop during a binge and think about how I'm feeling emotionally without judgement then decide whether or not to proceed, again without judgement, or if I've already finished I'll say I don't have to do it tomorrow or again today.

Idk if that's helpful for you but I hope you find something that is, I know how hopeless it feels.