Hello MsAmbrosia: I don't know as there is a lot I can contribute here. I don't self harm anymore. But I did. In fact I have permanent physical problems related to self harm I did to myself not all that many years ago I'm embarrassed to say. Like you, I never wanted anyone else to know what I was doing.
I've never told anyone about my self harm except for having mentioned it briefly to a couple of the mental health professionals I've seen. (We never discussed it in any detail.) But while I was doing it, I loved it & just wanted to keep doing it more-&-more. Truth be told, under the right circumstances, I'm not absolutely certain I wouldn't do it again. I don't think I would, but one never knows for sure. There is a certain addictive quality to self harm I believe. I don't know why it is addictive. But I just know it is. I wish you well...
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