I had a psychotic break in August 2013, and I went through many of the same feelings that you did. It resulted in a four week inpatient stay, and eight weeks of outpatient therapy. First and foremost on my mind- was how can I be a parent when I'm do disconnected with reality? The second issue that I had to deal with was my marriage. It was very painful to face up to the fact that I lost touch with reality and almost died as the result of my actions.

The outpatient treatment that I did was invaluable. It gave me the strength to recognize that if I stayed in my marriage, my mental health would remain fragile and I would be constantly at-risk. I did outpatient counseling sessions, mostly in group, from 9-3PM M-F.

The biggest thing is that you have to recognize what caused your psychotic break. For me, it was a combination of work, the stress of being the sole caretaker for my daughter, and the realization that my ex-husband was cheating on me. Although I continued to make poor decisions about relationships after my diagnosis, I at least had the self-awareness to recognize situations where my mental health was being put at risk. I also changed into a less-stressful job, and learned better skills to cope with the daily stress of parenting.

Another change that I had to make was to make an effort to go to bed at the same time everyday and wake up at the same time everyday. It really sucks to go to bed at 9PM on a weekend, but I know that this puts me in a position where I can put my best foot forward.

Another aspect that was tough for me to figure out was what was normal behavior and what's not. It is still a struggle. I've learned to recognize the early signs of when I am at risk, and I have a great partnership with my p-doc to ensure that I'm getting the best treatment available for my symptoms.

The biggest challenge is that you have to face what happened, but you also have to find a way to move past it. Forgiving yourself is hard. But if you look to seeing this as an opportunity to build a better future- then it is worth it. Take baby steps slowly and recognize that you won't always be going forward- I took a few steps back during my first year of recovery because I made the wrong decisions on who to trust.

I can tell you that I am much happier, much easier to be around than I was prior to my diagnosis. My daughter and I have a great relationship, and I have full time custody of her and she is thriving. My friends enjoy being around me more, and I'm not as manipulative as I was prior to my diagnosis. It took me over three years to get to this point. And I will still face these challenges where I'm battling for my mental health for the rest of my life.

Another interesting thing to note- I am not on the same medication as I was when I was diagnosed. It is really important to be open to changes in medication when you are having challenges managing your illness. When I was diagnosed, I was on zyprexa, depakote, and klonopin. Today it's just Latuda.

I hope this helps you- it does get easier.