So much of how each gender behaves is constructed by the society we live in. We have all heard of media influences from Fashion magazines, television sitcoms, scripted talk shows and we have assessed the roles we teach our children by buying them pink frilly things for girls or aggressive toys for boys. We have also heard of competitive natures in males and passive natures of females....blah blah blah. The problem is we really do get influenced by these gendered roles our society pushes on us constantly. When relationships develop, males have been taught to behave in a manner different from females and we then have conflicts because our partners do not understand us or think as we do.

We have to stop expecting things to be the perfect fit. Nothing ever is. If we are not willing to bend (EQUALLY) for eachother, it will not work out. Notice I have said EQUALLY. That is the key point. What will each person be willing to bend for? What bending do we expect of our partners? We need to be willing to negotiate, and be willing to communicate with respect. Things can workout if there is communication and respect.

P.S. My marriage didn't work out either. His behaviour was totally unacceptable as a father and husband, BUT I saw that in him before he proposed. I had seen his flaws since the first date and I kept forgiving it until it reached a critical level. So, I was as much to blame for that period of unhappiness.